Texas bill would allow high school seniors carry guns

March 12, 2023
Photo: Istvan Csak/Shutterstock

You have to get up pretty damn early in the morning to make shit up like this.

Texas is well known for being the epicenter for stupidity when it comes to laws governing the state. After law enforcement testified against open carry, Texas Republicans passed open carry. After the Santa Fe High School shooting killing 10 they passed Permitless Carry allowing anyone to openly carry a gun without fear of being questioned or challenged. Law Enforcement across the state was against that bill also. So now after the Uvalde shooting that killed 19 children and 2 teachers, Texas Republicans need to pass some kind of gun nut bill. They have one.

House Bill 666 (seriously) filed by State Representative Ima D. Opé would allow 18 year old seniors to carry guns in school. According to Opé” “Allowing law abiding citizens to carry in high schools would provide immediate protection against another law abiding 18 year old who legally bought an assault weapon, armor piercing bullets, and body armor from attacking our defenseless students.”

State Representative Dennis Paul (R-Houston) had this to say “Well considering we did absolutely nothing after 19 10 year olds had their heads blow off while attending grade school, I am glad we are at least considering doing something to sell more guns. I will offer my thoughts and prayers for the passage of this bill.”

Welcome to Texas folks. And welcome to Satire Sunday. (or is it?)

State Representative Dennis Paul at a polling location

Texas Republican files bill to end NASA in Houston

March 7, 2023

We do things bigger in Texas, like having bigger idiots in office.

Texas State Representative Brian Slaton pictured here with his first (or second?) wife, after walking on water, has filed a bill to start Texas secession from the United States. If this bill would pass (it won’t) the bill would allow a public vote on secession in November. It’s nothing more than a right wing idiot dog whistle perking up the ears of the ignorant and stupid people in Texas who think Texas could actually leave.

For the sake of the ignorant and stupid people who think this is actually a possibility let’s review what would happen if Texas was allowed to leave. First all military bases would be closed. All military equipment would be shifted to other US bases. Military personnel would have to either move to the United States or quit. The federal teat would dry up with Military towns being abandoned. Businesses that support the military bases would have to close shop. The tax base for cities would be devastated.

All federal offices such as Social Security, Medicare, Veterans Affairs, etc would be closed. Social Security payments would end leaving millions of stupid old people fighting over cat food. Medicare would end with medical facilities and healthcare providers losing billions in profits and old people dying from contaminated cat food. Federal transportation funds for roads, rail, and airports would dry up. NASA’s facilities in Houston would be closed and moved to Alabama or Florida. NASA employees would either move or quit. The community would lose billions in revenue. (See how stupid this sounds?)

Best of all, with Texas having no military, Mexico would cross the river and take back Texas. Much like the Alamo Texans would be defenseless except for a few bubbas with their AR-15s as Mexico walks into Texas reclaiming the land that was stolen from them back in the 1800’s. Lucky for Texans there will be too many bodies to pile up and burn as they did after the fall of the Alamo.

As I said, we do things bigger in Texas. If you think Texas can leave the United States you are a Texas sized idiot.

Texas Republican bill will limit tax breaks for the divorced. (Praise the lord?)

March 3, 2023

No place but Texas. Literally.

Republican State Representative Tony Tinderholt, pictured here as he looks at a new intern, is not happy about House Bill  HB No. 2889, introduced by Republican representative Bryan Slaton. HB2889 will give huge tax breaks to those who are married and with lots of kids.

Unfortunately the bill excludes same sex marriages as well as those who are divorced. This has pissed off Tinderholt because he has been married FIVE times, twice to the same woman. He has clearly violated the “Sanctity of Marriage and One Man One Woman”. He has 3 kids from 2 of his wives. According to Reform Austin Tinderholt has voted against protecting women’s health and safety of children. He had a restraining order placed on him after his first marriage which included:

  • “Threatening Petitioner in person, by telephone, or in writing to take unlawful action against any person.”
  • “Causing bodily injury to Petitioner or to a child of either party.”
  • “Destroying, removing, concealing, encumbering, transferring, or otherwise harming or reducing the value of the property of one or both of the parties.”

Slaton’s bill will deny Tinderholt the right to benefit from the tax cuts for straight, white, christian, praise the lord, couples. Tinderholt responded:

“I intend to fight this bill and will beat off my opponents with both hands!.” (Actually he didn’t say this but it is funny!) It is clear the from bills filed the republican purity police is out in force.

Join us TONIGHT to stop the book banning in League City Texas

February 28, 2023

We need your help to stop Agenda Item 8A at the upcoming League City Council meeting on Tuesday, February 28, at 6 PM. This is the second and final ordinance reading, and we must make our voices heard loud and clear.


  • Protest: Tuesday, February 28 | 4:30-5:50 PM – Bring a banned book and wear green! Helen Hall Library 100 W. Walker St. League City, TX 77573.
  • Speaker Sign Up: Tuesday, February 28 | 5-5:50 PM League City Council 300 W Walker League City, TX 77573
  • Petition: Sign it and share it

Texas Ethics Commission hammers two PACs/Treasurers with huge fines

February 24, 2023

Usually ethics complaints filed with the Texas Ethics Commission end in a slap on the wrist, a small fine, an attempt to correct reports, and a promise not to do it again. This latest release of sanctions is about as unusual as the fines against Eric Dick, City of Houston Candidate, who was fined $30,000 last year.

The Texas Ethics Commission issued massive fines against two PACs and treasurers in their recent published orders. The Treasurer of the African American Caucus, Darnella Wilkerson, has been fined $17,500 and Terrance Shanks of the Texas Coalition of Black Democrats Harris County has been fined $27,500. Both must pay the fines within 30 days or will be referred to the Texas Attorney General for collections.

I could find very limited information about the Texas Coalition of Black Democrats Harris County on the TECs campaign finance report website and the African American Caucus is not registered with the TEC. The respondent for the Coalition claims the AAC is a part of the Coalition and therefore the complaints were handled together.

The orders, SC-32107157 and SC-32107163 have been posted to the TECs website. They are long, complicated and intertwined. If you take the time to read the reports the Staff of the TEC claim both respondents misled the commission during their investigation.

Here is a key finding against Darnella Wilkerson:

In consideration of the serious nature of the violations, the circumstantial indications that Wilkerson helped facilitate the still more serious violations in the related complaint against Shanks, and Wilkerson’s bad faith in her response to the complaint, the Commission imposes on Wilkerson civil penalties totaling $17,500: a $15,000 civil penalty for her reporting violations as treasurer of AAC, and an additional $2,500 civil penalty for her failure to respond to Commission staff’s written questions.

And another against Terrance Shanks:

Due to the seriousness of the violations, Shanks’s demonstrated bad faith (in committing the violations at issue, in his response to this sworn complaint, and in his unscrupulous evasion of TCBD-HC’s reporting responsibilities in general), and the need to deter future violations, the Commission imposes on Shanks civil penalties totaling $27,500: a $25,000 civil penalty for the reporting violations found in this Order, and an additional $2,500 civilpenalty for his failure to respond to Commission staff’s written questions.

One of the things you should never do is lie or mislead the Staff of the Ethics Commission. You shouldn’t claim your Treasurer has died when he is alive and well. You should never falsify your documents signed under oath. You should never ignore a request for document supporting your spending/donations. You should never ignore a subpoena or instruct others to ignore a subpoena.

Doing so will unusually end in a massive fine.

The white rich guys who funded the Texas Latino Conservative PAC

February 6, 2023

They think we are stupid. (and some are)

The Texas Latino Conservative PAC was created in 2020 and has spent a considerable amount of money to elect Republican MAGAts such as Jack Morman who lost his bid for Commissioner as well as Alexandra MAGAt Mealer who lost against Lina Hidalgo.

You would think that a PAC titled the Texas Latino Conservative PAC would be funded by conservative Latinos. If you thought that, you thought wrong. Very wrong.

According to reports filed with the Texas Ethics Commission the Texas Latino Conservative PAC raised $1,957,457. $977,705 was donated by Coalition Por Texas, nearly 50% (more on this PAC below). $1,812,000 was donated by just 8 individuals/PACs listed below. Most of the money raised was donated by rich white guys like Richard Weekley and Cary McNair. 93% of all donations were contributed by the following:

Coalition Por Texas$977,050
Richard Weekley$281,800
Cary McNair$163,000
Jan Duncan$105,000
Harlan Crow$100,000
Robert Rowling$100,000
Harris County Republican Party$65,000
Joseph Swinbank$30,000

Now the Coalition Por Texas was created in Jan 2022 with generous donations totaling $1,000,000 from 3 wealthy white guys and 1 PAC, Hillwood Development PAC, Robert Rowling, Richard Weekley, and Harlan Crow. In total Coalition Por Texas raised $2,550,000 from just 5 white guys and 1 PAC. Half of the donations went to the Latino Conservative PAC and the other donations went to Mexican MAGAt candidates across Texas.

Crow ,Harlan500,000.00
Crow ,Harlan250,000.00
Popolo ,Joseph50,000.00
Rees-Jones ,Trevor D.500,000.00
Rowling ,Robert250,000.00
Weekley ,Richard250,000.00
Weekley ,Richard250,000.00
Weekley ,Richard250,000.00
Hillwood Development Co250,000.00

Hispanics are getting played.

Unpaid fines issued by theTexas Ethics Commission

February 1, 2023

The vast majority of sanctions issued by the Texas Ethics Commission end in a small fine, a slap on the wrist, and a promise from the candidate not to do it again. Rarely does the TEC issue a substantial fine. Rarely. Not never. Occasionally they give the candidate a specific amount of time to pay the fine before sending the sanction to the Texas Attorney General for collections.

In 2022 the TEC issued 46 Final Orders of these only 5 have not paid the fine. Eric Dick was fined $30,000 along with a $6000 fine against Philip Bryant who was in cahoots with Dick. Doni Anthony was a candidate for Mayor and was found to have converted campaign funds to personal use by paying herself a salary. She has not paid the fine as of the latest records from TEC.

I’ve asked for a list of sanctions referred to the Attorney General for collection. More on that later.

Outstanding sworn complaint fines issued in 2021
SC#RespondentAmount unpaid
SC-31912186Eric Dick$30,000 
SC-31912187Philip Bryant$6,000 
SC-32009187, 32010205, 32011255, 32101103Matthew D. Wiggins$1,000 
SC-3210482Glen Johnson$2,500 
SC-3210491Doni Anthony$7,500 

League City Texas to ban books on divorce, adultery, and guns.

December 4, 2022

League City Texas is a small community south of Houston. They pride themselves as being a conservative, christian, mostly white, city of love and diversity.

So next week League City will vote on a resolution, sponsored by Mayor Nick Long, that will ban books at the city library that contains subjects indoctrinating children in anti-christian lifestyles. According to a League City Councilman:

“The sanctity of marriage is sacred to League Citians. We do not condone adultery or normalizing single parenthood, porking porn stars or getting married over and over again. This is not a League City family value and all books referencing divorce or adultery in any form should be banned from our public libraries.”

“Books on gun topics should also be banned because they also go against our christian, family values especially after the Uvalde massacre that killed 19 children and 2 teachers. These books indoctrinate our children into a life style of shooting people to solve problems. As with adultery this is not a wholesome, christian, family value worthy of League City.”

The resolution will be voted on next week following a singles only prayer circle at the local shooting range.

Mexican MAGAts of Alvin Texas in City Council

November 30, 2022

Once the Republican Party takes a major dump on Donald Trump I wonder whose ass the Mexican MAGAts are going to start kissing.

Joel Castro is a Mexican American City Councilman in Alvin Texas. He is a Mexican MAGAt. Alvin is probably the epicenter of “republicanism”, not “conservatism”. There is nothing conservative about playing with guns especially after a couple of mass shootings within the last few weeks.

It’s hard for me to understand how any Mexican American (or anyone for that matter) would kiss Donald Trump’s ass and his movement. Mexican Americans are loyal people. They defend their families, friends, and those who need defending. Mocking a disabled individual would usually end in an ass kicking not an ass kissing. Making racist comments, calling people names, acting tough by playing with guns and making threats, attacking police, attacking our gay, Muslim, Jewish friends, all of this would end in a slap in the head with a chancla (a flip-flop) by your abuela (your grandmother).

Being disrespectful asshole is not a Mexican American value. It’s a Mexican MAGAt value. Castro has recently been re-elected to represent the citizens of Alvin Texas.

Colorado Drag Queens to provide active-shooter training to the Texas Dept of Safety

November 27, 2022

The Texas Department of Safety is asking for $1.2 BILLION for an active-shooter training facility. From the Texas Tribune:

The proposal comes as the agency faces heavy criticism over its response to the deadly elementary school shooting in Uvalde in May, when officers from several agencies including the DPS took 77 minutes to breach the classroom where a gunman shot to death 19 students and two teachers.

In response to this the drag queens from the Colorado night club shooting have some real life suggestions on active-shooter training. 1) Attack the shooter and 2) Hit the shooter over the head with your high heels. This training will save the State of Texas $1.2 Billion.

I mean seriously. This isn’t rocket science folks. You have a state that is flooded with high powered guns. Even the police are scared of the power of these guns yet most of them continue to vote for the very people who put these guns on the street and in their face. So instead of whining about needing $1.2 Billion for a training facility how about sucking it up and do your fucking job? How hard is it to rush the gunman? And if you need some high heels then go to Palais Royale and buy a pair and grow a pair too.

Law enforcement across the state has condoned this gun nut mentality now they need to live with their decisions, grow a pair, and do their fucking jobs. Or join us normal people and demand that these weapons be removed from the public and that Texas returns to a state of truly conservative gun ownership.

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