Bay Area Houston

Believe me.

The new Trump Burger place opened in Kemah and the Houston Chronicles Bao Ong, Restaurant critic, wasn’t very impressed. Here are a few clips:

• If we cut to the chase though, most dishes are unremarkable and far from making the Chronicle’s best burgers guide.
• The merchandise on sale is made abroad, including in the Dominican Republic and Bangladesh.
• Fat, salt and heat — all elements I seek in a burger — are lacking.
• The regular and sweet potato fries arrived hot and crisp on the exterior, but they were either soggy inside or oversalted. 
• The cheesesteak for which I had traveled nearly 45 minutes made me want to drive right back home.

Maybe he should have tried some other variation of burgers such as:

• The Stormy Burger. Nice firm buns with little meat.
• The Tariff Burger. It’s on the menu, it’s off the menu. it’s on the menu. It’s off the menu. TACO?
• The Immigration Burger. Grilled to perfection by a white guy making minimum wage.
• The Stock Market Burger. Losing your ass with every bite.
• The Liar Burger. No one has ever tasted a burger this good. Believe me.
• The White Power Burger. Raw with a side of white supremacy sauce.

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 29th, 2025 at 7:52 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.