Texas Governor Greg Abbott issues a Texas Style Back to School Supplies list.

August 8, 2022

This should be satire.

It’s that time of year. Kids are about to return to school and supplies are needed. Here is a list of much needed supplies in today’s violent Texas climate. Besides the usual paper, crayons, etc, there are a few items that are a must to make sure your kids actually come home, courtesy of Texas Governor Greg Abbott.

Kevlar backpacks. Nothing works better, besides common sense gun safety, than a kevlar backpack to stop a bullet from an AR-15. Amazon has a number of backpacks just for kids.

Bleed stop. Bleed stop is a first aid powder for blood clotting. It could be used on yourself, if you are able, or your classmates. The packet slips easily into your bullet proof backpack.

Fake Blood. One of the surviving students in the Uvalde shooting smeared herself with the blood of her classmate and then played dead. A bottle of fake blood could be used, instead of putting your hand onto your classmates bleeding body. Simply pour over your head and face then play dead. A small bottle is enough for the entire class!

Bullet proof tablets. A tablet with a bullet proof backing is a must. They are easy to store and readily available when confronted with an 18 year old with an assault weapon.

#2 Pencils. Even your everyday supplies could be used for protection. A sharpened #2 pencil could be use to stab the 18 year old with an assault weapon.

This should be satire but it’s not. Texas is a safe haven for unrestricted gun ownership. Greg Abbott and State Representative Dennis Paul have not and will NEVER restrict the rights of an 18 year old to buy a military style AR-15. They have done nothing and will continue to do nothing to protect our lives even after 25 Texans were slaughtered in El Paso, 8 kids were killed at Sante Fe high school and 19 children were slaughtered in Uvalde. They love guns more than they love our children.

So, either stock up on Greg’s Abbott’s back to school supplies and quit complaining or vote these sick bastards, Greg Abbott and Dennis Paul, out of office.


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