Multiple members of the Texas Republican Party were involved.
The Austin fire department and the “jaws of life” were called for an accident involving a bus carrying a number of Republican law makers. No family members were involved. According to the report: “The Austin Fire Department Station 42 was called late Thursday night to assist the law makers. Our first responders, who are trained in the use of the jaws of life, were unable to free many of the individuals but will not stop trying until the job is completed and everyone is rescued.”
According to the first responders the accident happened after a fundraiser for the Texas Republican Party with members of the Texas House, all Republicans. “When we arrived at the accident we immediately called for the jaws of life. The scene was horrible with many trapped in the bus gasping for air and pleading for help.”
“Our brave first responders took decisive action with the jaws of life and tried to pry each and every one of them off of Donald Trump’s ass, but they was stuck. I’ve never seen so many people on their knees sucking someone’s ass so hard that they got stuck. We continue to struggle with the situation. The fact that Trump continued to walk around with so many of the Texas Republican delegation stuck to his ass didn’t help.”
Texas is well known for their saying “We do things bigger in Texas”, including having some of the biggest ass kissers in the country.
Welcome to fucking Friday and to the great ass kissing state of Texas.
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It was reported that the grizzled, pipe-smoking EMS Chief muttered under his breath to no one in particular, “Dammit, We’re gonna need a bigger JAWS!” as he shook his head in disgust!