Bay Area Houston

Keep Congressman Troy Nehls and his family in your prayers.

The Alexandria fire department and the “jaws of life” was called for an accident involving Texas Congressman Troy Nehls. No other individual or family members were involved. According to the report: “The Alexandria Fire Department Station 42 was called late Saturday night to assist the Congressman from Texas. Our first responders, who are trained in the use of the jaws of life, were unable to free the Congressman but will not stop trying until the job is completed and Congressman Nehls is rescued.”

According to the first responders the accident happened right after the press conference held by Nehls to publicly denounce the 34 guilty verdicts against Donald Trump. “When we arrived at the accident we immediately called for the jaws of life. The scene was horrible with Congressman Nehls gasping for air and pleading for help.”

“Our brave first responders took decisive action with the jaws of life and tried to pry Congressman Nehls lips off of Donald Trump’s ass, but he was stuck. I’ve never seen anyone kiss someones ass so hard that they got stuck. We continue to struggle with the situation. The fact that Trump continued to walk around with Nehls stuck to his ass didn’t help.”

Texas is well known for their saying “We do things bigger in Texas”, including having some of the biggest ass kissers in the country.

Welcome to Satire Sunday.

This entry was posted on Sunday, June 2nd, 2024 at 6:31 am and is filed under Satire. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.