Bay Area Houston

No place but Texas. Literally.

HB1776 filed by State Representative Dennis Paul would fortify every school in Texas to prevent another mass shooting. According to Paul “I support the second amendment and will do whatever it takes to protect the right to own assault weapons, armor piercing bullets, and silencers.”

HB1776 will allocate funds and raise taxes to fortify all schools with a brick wall topped with barbed wire. In recent shootings it is clear a door can easily be shot out to gain entry into the school. School playgrounds are wide open, some with a simple metal fence that a shooter can shoot through. Band practice venues, tennis courts, baseball fields are all wide open to someone with an assault weapon. A wall around every school would effectively stop a law abiding citizen with an assault weapon.

In 2022, Texas had 5,156,972 students enrolled in a total of 8,161 schools in 1,022 school districts. A wall for each school would cost about $1 Million with a total of over $8 Billion. The State would use half of their rainy day fund and the balance would be passed on to the parents of children attending school. “It’s a small price to pay to protect our rights to own assault weapons.” said Paul. Christian schools do not need the protection of a wall since they have the power of the Lord to protect them.

Next session the State will allocate funding to fortify school busses, parade routes, concert venues, shopping malls, and the work place. Churches will not need protection because they too are protected by the Lord. “We must do whatever it takes, whatever it costs, to protect the most loved possessions of our families, our guns.” said Paul. “oh…and our kids too.” he added.

Welcome to Satire Sunday.

You have to get up pretty damn early in the morning to make shit up like this.

Texas is well known for being the epicenter for stupidity when it comes to laws governing the state. After law enforcement testified against open carry, Texas Republicans passed open carry. After the Santa Fe High School shooting killing 10 they passed Permitless Carry allowing anyone to openly carry a gun without fear of being questioned or challenged. Law Enforcement across the state was against that bill also. So now after the Uvalde shooting that killed 19 children and 2 teachers, Texas Republicans need to pass some kind of gun nut bill. They have one.

House Bill 666 (seriously) filed by State Representative Ima D. Opé would allow 18 year old seniors to carry guns in school. According to Opé” “Allowing law abiding citizens to carry in high schools would provide immediate protection against another law abiding 18 year old who legally bought an assault weapon, armor piercing bullets, and body armor from attacking our defenseless students.”

State Representative Dennis Paul (R-Houston) had this to say “Well considering we did absolutely nothing after 19 10 year olds had their heads blow off while attending grade school, I am glad we are at least considering doing something to sell more guns. I will offer my thoughts and prayers for the passage of this bill.”

Welcome to Texas folks. And welcome to Satire Sunday. (or is it?)