League City Texas to ban books on divorce, adultery, and guns.

December 4, 2022

League City Texas is a small community south of Houston. They pride themselves as being a conservative, christian, mostly white, city of love and diversity.

So next week League City will vote on a resolution, sponsored by Mayor Nick Long, that will ban books at the city library that contains subjects indoctrinating children in anti-christian lifestyles. According to a League City Councilman:

“The sanctity of marriage is sacred to League Citians. We do not condone adultery or normalizing single parenthood, porking porn stars or getting married over and over again. This is not a League City family value and all books referencing divorce or adultery in any form should be banned from our public libraries.”

“Books on gun topics should also be banned because they also go against our christian, family values especially after the Uvalde massacre that killed 19 children and 2 teachers. These books indoctrinate our children into a life style of shooting people to solve problems. As with adultery this is not a wholesome, christian, family value worthy of League City.”

The resolution will be voted on next week following a singles only prayer circle at the local shooting range.


#HerschelWalker threatens suit for “Defecation of Character”

October 7, 2022

You have to get up pretty early in the morning to make sh*t up like this!

According to CNBC Herschel Walker after being caught in lie after lie concerning his girlfriend’s abortion he paid for has threatened a lawsuit against The Daily Beast who broke the story.

Walker called the report “a flat-out lie” and vowed to file a defamation lawsuit against the news outlet by Tuesday morning. Spokespeople for Walker’s campaign have not responded to repeated questions about whether that lawsuit has been filed.

Herschel has responded to the report with a threat to file a lawsuit by Tuesday morning. Which Tuesday morning is still up for debate. According to Herschel:

Let me speak as clearly and coherently as probable. I will file a lawsuit ‘gainst any media outlet for defecation of my character. I will not put up with that shit from anyone. This story started in the toilet and will end with a swift wipe by the hand of the law. Even if my girlfriend who I have never met or known, had an abortion, and I paid for it, and there are receipts showing I paid for it, and there is a get well card I signed, and she later became the mother of one of my many children, it still doesn’t make it true. This crap just will not be toleratable.

Uh…..that is some crazy shit. Even crazier is that he has a chance to be in the United State Senate which would take the stink off of Ted Cruz for being the dumbest Senator in the Senate.


Greg Abbott: I’ll ban divorce if reelected

September 15, 2022

This is who Greg Abbott is. Don’t believe me. Believe him.

Texas Governor Greg Abbott has called for a ban on divorces in Texas if reelected. This has caused a huge backlash from members of his own party including State Representative Tony Tinderholt who is on his 5th marriage, twice to his first wife. According to Tinderholt “What the *uck Governor? Do you need someone else to pick on besides the Mexicans, Gays, Jews, and other non-christians? Who I love or don’t love at any given point in time is none of your business.”

In attempting to explain his ban Abbott claims “Divorce is against everything the Republican Party stands for especially the Sanctity of Marriage. It is not the Sanctity of Marriages or One Man One Woman at One Time. It is one man. One woman. Forever. And ever. Amen.”

According to his plan those who want to get divorced could do so but would forever give up their rights to marry again. Also those who divorce will lose all benefits afforded to those who are married including health care benefits. “Texans who divorce will know up front the consequences for their inability to preserve their marriage, under god, like my wife and I have done.”

“I understand I will have opposition coming from both sides of the aisle but I pledge to all Texans that if reelected I will beat off the opposition with both hands in order to protect the sanctity of marriage.”


Group to file lawsuit against Texas Senator Paul Bettencourt for PPP Loan forgiveness

August 30, 2022

Yesterday Harris County Commissioner Adrian Garcia called out State Senator Paul Bettencourt. Bettencourt has been critical of President Biden’s school loan assistance program. According to Garcia, Bettencourt has also received free assistance from the Federal Government to the tune of $623,500 through the PPP loan program. According to the Houston Chronicle, Garcia asked Bettencourt via Twitter:

“Is this you?” Democrat Adrian Garcia tweeted at Sen. Paul Bettencourt, a Republican who criticized President Joe Biden’s plan to offer student debtors up to $20,000 in relief was “costing $600+Bil.”

In his defense, Bettencourt said “No one gives back free money”.

Ok, he didn’t say exactly that but the massive hypocrisy of criticizing the Federal Government providing help to students in debt while accepting $623,500 in free money from the Federal Government has not gone unnoticed. The Society of Hypocrites in Texas has filed suit against Bettencourt. According to their statement:

The State of Texas has a proud history of being hypocrites but we have never been afraid to accept help from the government when needed but we know our limits and we know to keep our mouth shut. No one is more of a Texas sized hypocrite than Senator Ted Cruz, yet Paul Bettoncourt gives him a good run for his free money.

Because of this, the members of the Society of Hypocrites of Texas (SHIT) have decided to file suit against Paul Bettoncourt for defecation of character. Let us be very clear. We are not going to take this shit from Paul Bettoncourt.


Why AT&T customer service is rated #1 in the world

August 28, 2022

After waiting on the phone to talk to an AT&T customer service representative have you ever wondered how AT&T is rated #1 in customer service? Well so do I. Here is why I think they deserve this rating.

When AT&T is working it works just great. I have great cellular coverage, unlimited data, no throttling, my internet access for home is reliable, and Uverse is just great. Luckily you do not need customer support when everything is just fine.

Talking to a machine. When something goes wrong is when things go wrong. AT&T uses a computer assistant to screen calls resulting in most callers yelling REPRESENTATIVE!!!! Usually the assistant will ask a series of question trying to find the right representative for you to speak to. Most of the time it will provide useless information like “log in and solve your own fuckin problem” when you calling because you can’t login in in the first place.

Waiting. Once they transfer you to a representative the waiting starts. This is a good time to take a shower, mow the lawn, or watch a 3 hour movie because that is how long you will wait to talk to a REPRESENTATIVE!

Getting a call back. AT&T values the 3 hours you will wait for a REPRESENTATIVE and will give you an opportunity to receive a callback when it is your turn. You can get a call back usually at 11 PM or the next day if you are lucky. If you ever receive the call back you have to push 1 to talk to the REPRESENTATIVE. Many times the button will not work and AT&T will simply hang up with a friendly “Goodbye”

Hanging up, transferring. Once you are finally talking to a REPRESENTATIVE the first line of defense would be to tell the caller “You have the wrong department. Let me transfer you…” and the wait starts all over again. When you finally get the right REPRESENTATIVE on the phone and they are incompetent and cannot solve your problem they will put you on hold, multiple times, then they will simply hang up.

Visiting an AT&T store. The first thing the service representative will do is to call…..wait for it….customer support.

So the bottom line AT&T customer service is the best in the world in teaching you have to be patient, how to control your temper, and how to cancel your entire service…..if only you can talk to a REPRESENTATIVE to do so.


Welcome to Bay Area Houston!

August 10, 2022
Fishing in Mexico

Thank you for visiting Bay Area Houston!

I have been blogging on political and consumer issues for over 15 years and appreciate you stopping by. I hope I can provide information you find interesting, disturbing, or funny at times. Feel free to add your own comments to my posts! I appreciate comments, corrections, or ideas!

On the right side of this page you will find a list categories. You can click on one and look at the posts for that particular topic. For instance if you click on CCISD you will see all my posts about CCISD. The same goes for SATIRE. You might get a laugh at those posts!

And if you scroll to the bottom right of this page you will see a FOLLOW+ button. Click on that button, enter your email address and BAH will email when a new post is published! Share with your friends!

If you want to know a bit more about me click on the ABOUT menu item at the top of the page and if you have the urge to contact me visit the CONTACT page. Again, thanks for reading and enjoy!!!

–John Cobarruvias Bay Area Houston


Texas Governor Greg Abbott issues a Texas Style Back to School Supplies list.

August 8, 2022

This should be satire.

It’s that time of year. Kids are about to return to school and supplies are needed. Here is a list of much needed supplies in today’s violent Texas climate. Besides the usual paper, crayons, etc, there are a few items that are a must to make sure your kids actually come home, courtesy of Texas Governor Greg Abbott.

Kevlar backpacks. Nothing works better, besides common sense gun safety, than a kevlar backpack to stop a bullet from an AR-15. Amazon has a number of backpacks just for kids.

Bleed stop. Bleed stop is a first aid powder for blood clotting. It could be used on yourself, if you are able, or your classmates. The packet slips easily into your bullet proof backpack.

Fake Blood. One of the surviving students in the Uvalde shooting smeared herself with the blood of her classmate and then played dead. A bottle of fake blood could be used, instead of putting your hand onto your classmates bleeding body. Simply pour over your head and face then play dead. A small bottle is enough for the entire class!

Bullet proof tablets. A tablet with a bullet proof backing is a must. They are easy to store and readily available when confronted with an 18 year old with an assault weapon.

#2 Pencils. Even your everyday supplies could be used for protection. A sharpened #2 pencil could be use to stab the 18 year old with an assault weapon.

This should be satire but it’s not. Texas is a safe haven for unrestricted gun ownership. Greg Abbott and State Representative Dennis Paul have not and will NEVER restrict the rights of an 18 year old to buy a military style AR-15. They have done nothing and will continue to do nothing to protect our lives even after 25 Texans were slaughtered in El Paso, 8 kids were killed at Sante Fe high school and 19 children were slaughtered in Uvalde. They love guns more than they love our children.

So, either stock up on Greg’s Abbott’s back to school supplies and quit complaining or vote these sick bastards, Greg Abbott and Dennis Paul, out of office.


%d bloggers like this: