No Shirt. No Shoes. No Gays. No Service.
With the recent Supreme Court decision allowing businesses to discriminate based upon “religious” beliefs, Clear Lake State Representative Dennis Paul has called for creating a business directory for those who embrace the wholesome family values of the Republican Party.
A directory will be distributed to every household in the Bay Area, similar to the yellow pages. It will list business owners who will not provide services to the Gay community, their family members, or friends. These business owners will be identified in the directory and provided a colorful sticker to proudly display on their establishment’s window.
“I believe fine Christian business owners across the Bay Area will flock to be listed in this directory which I have called “The Right Businesses Pages” and would be proud to have this directory provided to over 60,000 households across the area.” said Paul. According to Paul’s office the responses sent to his office has been swift and very positive with many willing to give up significant amount of business to embrace their love for Jesus Christ our Savior and the Supreme Court ruling.
“I’m a wholesome Christian business owner. I may lose 30% of my business when I am listed in this directory!” –Unidentified Auto repair shop
“As a Christian my business may crater when I am listed in this directory!” –Unidentified Nail Salon Owner
As a proud Christian business owner I applaud Dennis Paul and will be proud to limit my business dealings to those with wholesome Christians values catering only to heterosexuals, those who do not lie, cheat, or steal, and those who have never been divorced or have had pre-wedding sex. –Unidentified Bakery Owner
“Jesus Christ! If you list my business in your Right Businesses Directory I will sue the living f*** out of you!” –Unidentified Mexican Restaurant owner
Dennis Paul’s business, Paul Engineering, as of today, is not listed in the Right Business Directory.
Welcome to Satire Sunday!
Discover more from Bay Area Houston
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
Bay Area Houston 
If I were a business owner I’d refuse to serve anyone in or displaying a confederate flag . Same for their 2nd 1/2 of the 2nd amendment. I want my copy if his book to go in and Bess with these nuts and then tell them how much money it cost then mmmm mmmm. Christians they are not. Cult, perhaps.
You had me going. Very clever! Lol