Bay Area Houston

April 21, 2021 Austin Texas

From the desk of Governor Greg Abbott

Texas Lt Governor Dan Patrick offers a special prayer for this Easter:

Oh Lord Let us prey.
Let us prey on the cold for they cannot flee to Cancun
Let us prey on the voters for they cannot easily vote.
Let us prey on the poor for they cannot afford to fight.
Let us prey on the sick for they are too weak to fight.
Let us prey on the Hispanics for they will not vote.
Let us prey on the Blacks for their lives do not matter.
Let us prey on the disabled for they are weak.
Let us prey on the Muslims for they are now targets of hate
Let us prey on the Asian population for they brought us COVID.
Let us prey on the Immigrants for they do not belong here.
Let us prey on the police as we flood the streets with guns.

And oh Lord
Let us prey on our supporters for they are too ignorant to know we are preying on them.

A “rally” at the Church of the Nazarene, Michael Hull, Pastor, is coming to the Clear Lake area. Hosted by the Republican “Q” Party of Texas. #WeAreTheStorm

 #WeAreTheStorm

The folks at the Bay Oaks Country Club in Clear Lake are not going to let a little COVID pandemic stop them from having some fun on New Years eve!

For just $125 you can eat, drink, and dance your way into the New Year at the Country Club. What can be more festive than an open bar, delicious hot hors d’oeuvres, and dancing to a live band with your friends and neighbors!

So, kick off that mask, let your hair down, and come on out to usher 2020 out!

November 8, 2020 Houston, Texas. Texas State Representative Briscoe Cain was held and questioned when attempting to board a flight from Houston to Philadelphia. According to Homeland Security Officials Cain was held for over an hour prior to the flight. From a spokesman:

We were alerted to the issue by an anonymous posting on Facebook. The picture of Cain raises serious questions about the safety and liability of the airline and required immediate attention. A review of his twitter feed confirmed our suspicions. We held Cain for approximately 1 hour to verify his identification. He would have been released much sooner but we were unable to contact his mother to verify his age.

Homeland Security has strict protocols concerning a minor flying alone. Out of an abundance of caution we held Cain back until he could prove he wasn’t a 12 year old or acted like one.

From the Dallas Morning News:

“His behavior does not reflect the values of the GOP of Texas, and we do not wish to promote anyone of his character,” the party said in a statement.

Well…. ok. That really isn’t exactly what they said but it is pretty funny when the party of “wholesome, christian, conservative family values” will take a stand against a republican candidate for violating their oath of honor yet will do nothing about their leader for porking a porn star, paying her off, and covering it up.

Republican Senate candidate Vanessa Tijerina was recently arrested for driving under the influence with children in the car. In Texas that is a felony. Much like Trump she has had multiple run ins with the law:

Tijerina has had legal problems in the past. As a Green Party candidate for Congress in 2016, Tijerina was arrested for a food stamp and Medicaid scam in which she received thousands of dollars for falsely claiming that she was a single-parent household even though her child’s father was living with them and was a wage-earning member of the family, according to court records.

So Tijerina crossed the line and the Republican Party will throw her in the garbage while standing with trump in the dump.

The Texas Republican Party should consider changing their logo to represent their convention and their new party.

Yesterday during their online/offline screwed up convention some of the delegates ousted their current Chair and voted in a perfect individual who will represent the Texas Republican party very well, former Congressman from Florida Allen West. West has been certified by the National Association of Nut Makers as 100% nuts. “After reviewing West’s record we can say with 100% accuracy that West is a perfect individual to lead the members of the Texas Republican Party. Just like Donald Trump he truly is one f*cked up human being.”

The GOP Convention has been a joke from day one, mired in technical difficulties, reboots, with many just giving up trying to participate. It is fitting that those who were able to actually gain access to vote elected someone like West to be their leader. He began his career in Florida and served in Congress as one of the tea baggers of 2010. He served only 1 term. He was endorsed by Sarah Palin and Ted Nugent. He will serve Donald Trump and his extreme right wing agenda very well.

His election topped off one screwed up convention for one screwed up party. For gosh sakes, what the living f*ck happened to you guys?