You might think this is Satire Sunday. It is but this is actually real. Sort of.
Let us prey. State Senator Phil King has advanced a bill to force all CCISD schools to post the Ten Commandments. According to King “Posting the ten commandments will cut down on mass shootings in schools, as well as bullying, stealing from fellow students, and screwing their teachers.”
A conflict concerning which version of the Ten Commandments should be posted caused quite a ruckus between the Catholics and Babtists including fighting and a few “goddamnits” mixed in. “Goddamnit the only version of the Commandments is the true version by the Catholic Church. Catholics are the largest Christian group in America and we, and only we should determine which version should be displayed.”
Bay Area’s Senator Money Mayes Middleton has offered a compromise bill with the following commandments:
1. I AM THE LORD THY GOD: THOU SHALT NOT HAVE STRANGE GODS BEFORE ME EXCEPT FOR DONALD TRUMP
2. THOU SHALL NOT TAKE THE NAME OF THE LORD THY GOD IN VAIN, GODDAMNIT
3. KEEP THE SABBATH HOLY UNLESS YOU ARE WATCHING NFL.
4. HONOUR THY FATHER AND THY MOTHER. MOTHERF***ER.
5. THOU SHALT NOT KILL UNLESS YOU HAVE A LEGALY PURCHASED AR15
6. THOU SHALT NOT PORK A PORN STAR
7. THOU SHALT NOT STEAL. LOL
8. THOU SHALT NOT BEAR FALSE WITNESS AGAINST THY NEIGHBOR UNLESS YOU ARE A REPUBLICAN
9. THOU SHALT NOT COVET THY NEIGHBOR’S WIFE UNLESS YOU ARE WHACKING OFF.
10. THOU SHALT NOT COVET THY NEIGHBOR’S GOODS UNLESS YOU ARE A REPUBLICAN.
Welcome to Satire Sunday, sort of. From the Texas Tribune:
Public schools in Texas would have to prominently display the Ten Commandments in every classroom starting next school year under a bill the Texas Senate approved Thursday.
Senate Bill 1515 by Sen. Phil King, R-Weatherford, now heads to the House for consideration.