Open carry gun owners to provide extra security for Greg Abbott at Houston rally

Living in Texas makes it real easy to write shit like this.

After another mass shooting in Texas gun owners across the state will come to provide extra security for Governor Greg Abbott at his upcoming school voucher rally in Houston. According to an open carry advocate who wishes not to be identified:

“After yet another mass shooting killing a few illegal aliens we know Abbott is under pressure to enact gun restrictions to prevent mass shootings like the one in Cleveland, El Paso, Uvalde, Killeen, Dallas, Santa Fe, Waco, Sutherland Springs, and others. We will be there to provide extra security to show our support for Greg Abbott and his support for our guns, bullets, silencers, and body armor no matter who will lose their lives.”

Abbott is scheduled to visit a Christian school to rally for vouchers on Tuesday. According to Abbott’s staff “The schools in Texas have always been an easy target for 18 year olds who can easily buy military assault rifles. Even today after spending billions in fortifying the inside of our schools, the outside is still wide open. Luckily this school will not only have Jesus on their side they will have extra security provided by law abiding gun owners exercising their God given rights to carry AR15s like the one used to kill 5 illegal aliens in Cleveland.”

Kyle Rittenhouse has been asked to lead the security detail. He will carpool with State Representative Dennis Paul and State Representative Little Baby Briscoe Cain. Cain’s mother will drive both of them and afterward will stop by Dairy Queen for a Dilly Bar and French fries.

Welcome to Satire Sunday, a day late.

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