Bay Area Houston

Lots of finger pointing going on.

Leave it to La Marque City Councilman Joseph Lowry for filing a police report concerning assault in the City Council Chambers. Prior to a council meeting Lowry, once again, began harassing Council Member Yancy. According to the police report, filed by Lowry, Yancy had questioned Lowry about his Facebook posts attacking her, her family, and her church. She then informed him to “Keep her name out of his mouth” which sounds reasonable. At least she didn’t slap the shit out of him.

Lowry texted 911. (I didn’t know you can do that) The police took time off from chasing meth dealers, protecting domestic violence victims, collecting past due taxes, and confiscating illegal guns, and raced to City Hall. Lowry claimed Yancy “Got in my face and tapped my hand with her finger”. Police Officer Madgett stated “I saw Lowry in deep pain, his finger was swollen to the size of a Vienna sausage, although all of his fingers seemed to be that size. He was crying, calling for his mommy and flapping his hands up and down. It was a very disturbing scene which followed me for days providing uncontrollable laughter and tears.”

OK. That wasn’t exactly what Officer Madgett said but after a complete investigation and forensic audit of the multiple cameras angles, as well as the testimony of multiple witnesses, no charges were filed. Officer Madgett told Lowry to stop crying, man up, and grow a pair. (OK He didn’t really say that either)

The police called Lowry’s mom and waited with him until she picked him up. You can read the entire report here.

This entry was posted on Saturday, August 29th, 2026 at 7:00 am and is filed under Political, Satire. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.