Trump Burger Review: Lackluster Dishes in Kemah

May 29, 2025

Believe me.

The new Trump Burger place opened in Kemah and the Houston Chronicles Bao Ong, Restaurant critic, wasn’t very impressed. Here are a few clips:

  • If we cut to the chase though, most dishes are unremarkable and far from making the Chronicle’s best burgers guide.
  • The merchandise on sale is made abroad, including in the Dominican Republic and Bangladesh.
  • Fat, salt and heat — all elements I seek in a burger — are lacking.
  • The regular and sweet potato fries arrived hot and crisp on the exterior, but they were either soggy inside or oversalted. 
  • The cheesesteak for which I had traveled nearly 45 minutes made me want to drive right back home.

Maybe he should have tried some other variation of burgers such as:

  • The Stormy Burger. Nice firm buns with little meat.
  • The Tariff Burger. It’s on the menu, it’s off the menu. it’s on the menu. It’s off the menu. TACO?
  • The Immigration Burger. Grilled to perfection by a white guy making minimum wage.
  • The Stock Market Burger. Losing your ass with every bite.
  • The Liar Burger. No one has ever tasted a burger this good. Believe me.
  • The White Power Burger. Raw with a side of white supremacy sauce.

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Posted by johncoby

LEAKED! Talking points released for Ken Paxton’s acquittal

September 15, 2023

Seriously, what kind of idiot would do this?

After watching the majority of the Paxton impeachment I believe the defense is going to focus on the lack of evidence concerning the bribery charge. If the Senators acquit Paxton they will walk out and tell the media that they couldn’t prove their case concerning bribery and they will focus on that and that only. But just in case here are some other talking points for the Senate GOP (Group Of Pussies):

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Posted by johncoby

Captain Chaos, League City Councilman Justin Hicks, Racist email

February 25, 2023
Captain Chaos

You would think a 13 year veteran of the armed forces would know better. He doesn’t.

In a recent email exchange between League City Councilman Justin Hicks and League City Police Chief Gary Ratliff, Hicks asks the Chief:

“Please tell me that LCPD is committed to hiring officer candidates based on qualifications, NOT skin color.”

Yep. Captain Chaos the Open Records Act can be a pain in a racists ass. the Police Chief responded with basically “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“We are a civil service agency, and we are one of the most strict agencies to get hired with. The requirements to get hired are the same for everyone. I am almost offended that you would insinuate that I would have lesser standards for any group.”

Almost? I’m offended just having to write about this! Luckily Hicks buddy, Mayor Nick Long, came to his defense. “Please excuse Captain Chaos. He is on a mission to piss off as many people as he can.” (Not exactly what he said) He actually said:

“I would not take this question personally.”

LOL. The full email exchange can be found here.

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Posted by johncoby

It’s time to support the Republican Party in their time of need

September 2, 2022

Come on Republicans! You can do it!

Thank you Mr. Fish https://clowncrack.com

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Jaws of life called for CCISD Trustee Scott Bowen

July 14, 2022

The League City Community has called for the jaws to get Trustee Scott Bowen’s panties out of his ass.This guy is such an a**hole. A major league republican a**hole.  Scott Bowen is having a flaming hissy fit. 

It seems there are organizations that specializes in finding qualified leaders for various positions such as the next superintendent of CCISD. Needless to say this is a pretty important position responsible for the day to day activities for thousands of students and parents. I would think hiring a firm that specializes in this type of search is a good idea since it would take a considerable amount of time to find, interview, and research a new superintendent. 

Turns out Scotty is having none of it. One of the companies requesting consideration for the job advertises being an equal opportunity organization which basically means to look far and wide for the most qualified. It has never meant to hire someone based upon a particular ethnicity it just means to search far and wide. It’s not a hard concept to understand unless you’re a pea brain.

Scott is a pee brain. I guess he wants to limit the selection of someone based only on qualifications (which they actually do) just as long as they are a white, male, right wing,  republican. What an a**hole. 

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Texas Gov Greg Abbott shows off his new mask

July 5, 2020

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BREAK IN NEWS: It didn't really happen at Buzbee's office

October 25, 2019
From the Houston Chronicle

It’s hard to make this stuff up.

ABC13 reported a break in Tony Buzbee’s campaign office with Buzbee jumping in with:

“This is not the kind of news that I want to wake up to in the morning,” said Buzbee in the statement. “But it just confirms that my campaign continues to gain momentum and we are on the right track.”

After a brief investigation the Houston Police Department issued a statement saying there was no sign of a break in and nothing was stolen. Buzbee issued another statement which seemed to be written by Donald Trump blaming the press. From the Houston Chronicle:

“So, bottom line, we don’t think this was another Watergate, as much as the press would like it to be,” Buzbee said. “Onward!!”

The press was only reporting there was a break in, then after the investigation they reported there wasn’t. There wasn’t much Watergating except to reference the $21 Million in art stolen from his home and that his gun jammed while the robbers drove off on a scooter. (Which sounds like a bucket full of shit) The Press gave wind to Buzbee to claim this “break in” proved he wasn’t 20 points behind Turner after spending $10 million. He should be thanking them for the free air and print.

Although nothing was stolen, over a hundred Buzbee campaign signs were returned. 
Ok. I make that up. It was hard.

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Guidelines issued for the Houston Trump rally.

October 19, 2018

The following set of guidelines have been issued for the upcoming rally for President Donald Trump:

  1. Arrive early. There will be long lines for security.
  2. Remember this is a family event. Your signs and t-shirts should reflect our commitment to family values.
  3. Do not bring confederate flags or nazi flags. If you do at the very least remove the pole. It will not be allowed into the event.
  4. No guns allowed either inside or outside of the venue.
  5. Do not threaten the media. Remember they have cameras.
  6. Women enter at your own risk.
  7. A small group of people will be asked to stand behind the stage. Please consider the offer or leave.
  8. No Mexicans (except for a few behind the stage)
  9. No Teachers
  10. No Muslims (except for a few behind the stage)
  11. No Federal employees including former FBI agents
  12. No Blacks (except for a few behind the stage)
  13. No Jews
  14. No non-Christians
Have fun. Enjoy the event and don’t forget your high blood pressure meds.

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Tales from Phone Banking: Houston Texans

October 1, 2018

Tales from phone banking:

Me: Hello can I speak to Mr. Smith?
Smith: This is he. What can I do for you? (Cheering in the background)
Me: I’m a volunteer with the Harris County Democrat…….
Smith: I aint gonna talk no damn politics! Da football game is on!
Me: Who is winning?
Smith: Texans but only by 7 points!
Me: They have the best talent with the worst record!
Smith: You telling me? Uh…what is this about?
Me: I am calling about your Vote By Mail application
Smith: Well if you call me ONE MORE DAMN TIME I will not vote for you! Who are you with?
Me: Ted Cruz for Senate.
Smith: Click 

Redialing.

Me: Hello may I speak to Mr. Smith?

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