Bay Area Houston

Donald Trump issued a statement claiming the Washington Post journalist Jamal Khashoggi, killed and dismembered by the Saudi government, was actually a terrorist and making money with the Saudis is more important than the life of a journalist. From the White House:

That being said, we may never know all of the facts surrounding the murder of Mr. Jamal Khashoggi. In any case, our relationship is with the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. They have been a great ally in our very important fight against Iran. The United States intends to remain a steadfast partner of Saudi Arabia to ensure the interests of our country, Israel and all other partners in the region. It is our paramount goal to fully eliminate the threat of terrorism throughout the world!

Texas Congressman Pete Olson issued the following statement concerning the United States intelligence community’s assessment of the killing that was orchestrated by the Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman:

[silence]

Olson continued with this:

“I cannot in good faith go against the wishes of President trump because he is our president and he might primary me in my swing district in 2020. Trump scares the living shit out of me and I cannot issue a statement at this time.”

He didn’t really say that, as you know, but he did not issue any statement on Trump’s statement. He is, once again, silent.

Brett Kavanaugh has been listed as another UFO. Unfit For Office.

His face says it all. His temperament was on display and his thoughts were too. Newspapers and various organizations are calling for him to withdraw his nomination. Kavanaugh came off as unfit to sit on the highest court of the United States. He took partisan snipes at, of all people, Hillary Clinton, claiming she is leading a vast left wing conspiracy. He cried. He yelled. He snarled. He acted like someone who should not sit on the court, or on the sidelines of a girls soccer team.

It was almost as if he had a message to Americans:

“You think I don’t have the temperament? Just wait. When I am confirmed and sitting on the highest court of the nation….I will be voting on healthcare affecting your family. I will be voting on women’s rights to manage their own bodies. I will be voting on rights of minorities to vote and to live in peace. I will be voting on public schools and teachers rights. I will be voting on workers rights. I will be voting on putting young brown children in cages and banning refugees based upon their religion. You think I don’t have the temperament to sit on the Supreme Court? Just wait. I will show all of you what temperament is all about for the next 30 f***ing years. Pay back is a bitch. Bitch.”

September 20, 2018 Houston, Texas. Ivanka Trump will be visiting the Johnson Space Center in Houston Texas with Texas Senator Ted Cruz. She will tour the facilities and speak with the Astronauts on the International Space Station.

“Ivanka, as Chief Presidential Stylist will unveil her new line of Space Force clothing to the NASA community. Our new line of stylish uniforms for engineers and astronauts will show their pride in performing their duties at NASA. We are excited to provide these items made in tariff free Thailand by young children who dream of being an Astronaut or highly paid Engineer when in reality they will make my clothing for pennies a day for the rest of their lives.”

Ivanka as the White House representative will have Texas Senator Ted Cruz tag along to carry her merchandise.

Photo by Task and Purpose

You just can’t make this up. Really. I’m not making this up.

During one of his old white folks campaign stops Ted Cruz decided to target another set of people just like trump does. Unfortunately Cruz isn’t as good as trump when it comes to insults. From CNN:

“We are seeing tens of millions of dollars flooding into the state of Texas from liberals all over the country who desperately want to turn the state of Texas blue,” Cruz said. “They want us to be just like California, right down to tofu and silicon and dyed hair.”

From Huffington Post

Silicon? Really? Soybeans? Tofu is made from soybeans and product that is grown in Texas. The producers have been hammered due to tariffs imposed by Ted’s buddy in the White House. Tofu is also very popular in major cities across Texas. If Cruz had visited these cities over the last 6 years he might know this. 

If Cruz had attended a republican fundraiser he would also know that staring at fake boobs then making fun of them might not be the best idea for his campaign. There is so much silicone in his own party it’s a wonder how there are any leaks coming from the White House at all. As Cruz said:

“As a conservative Texan I occasionally enjoy a face full of delicious tofu and big breasteses.”

Ok. I made that up.

On Sept 10th, Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton will lead the legal team of Republican attorneys and AG’s across the country to once and for all kill the pre-existing coverage mandate. According to a press release, Paxton will throw a party to celebrate:

AG Paxton Invites Texans to Celebrate the Death of the Pre-Existing Health Insurance Mandate

Thursday, August 30, 2018 – Austin 

You have to wake up pretty early in the morning to make up stuff like this. According to Fox Orlando:

NASA has announced that Vice President Mike Pence and NASA Administrator Jim Bridenstine will visit NASA’s Johnson Space Center in Houston on August 23rd. They will discuss the future of human space exploration and the agency’s plan to return to the Moon as a forerunner to future human missions to Mars.

In preparation for the traffic jams and the visit to JSC NASA HQs has issued the following statement:

NASA/JSC Employees, 

On Thursday the Vice President of the United States will visit Johnson Space Center to discuss plans to return to the Moon with select civil service employees. He will address these employees in Bldg 2 at noon. Invitations to this event will be sent late Wednesday. 

For those privileged enough to attend this great event with the Vice President, we ask you to adhere to a few simple guidelines. 1) Arrive early to complete the security process, 2) No signs will be allowed into the auditorium, and 3) With the extraordinary events of Tuesday we ask all employees to refrain from chanting “Lock him up! Lock him up!” instead consider “Back to the Moon!” or “Mars of Bust” or if you cannot be creative just chant “USA USA USA”.  

For those who will not be invited to see Pence please consider taking a day of leave, or call in sick, or work from home. Do anything to avoid the traffic and embarrassment of watching the Vice President acting like nothing has happened over the last few days. Please plan to return to full work conditions on Friday.

Not a picture from his Jr High Yearbook

This is not the first clown rodeo for Baby Briscoe. From a previous post:

State Representative Briscoe Cain from Deer Park had a temper tantrum vowing legislation in retaliation to the walkouts of April 20th to honor students killed at Columbine High School.

Baby Briscoe is a white wing tea bagger from Deer Park. He looks like a 12 year old. He was rated by Texas Monthly as the worst legislator in the history of Texas. (That is a bit of an exaggeration, but you get the idea. He sucks.) Briscoe continued being a little dick by driving to Ft Worth, gaining access to the Texas Democratic Party (which isn’t hard since are conventions are open to the public) and handing out gun nut signs. It didn’t work out as he planned. From the Star Telegram:

Cain, consultant Aaron Harris of North Richland Hills and two other men were asked to leave the Fort Worth Convention Center exhibit hall, but returned later in the Ninth Street foyer.

They were questioned and released about 5:20 p.m. by Fort Worth police.

Briscoe flashed what looked like a gun around his waist and was escorted out along with his political consultant who probably had to drive him to Ft Worth, using his own gas money. The police had a discussion with Baby Briscoe and released him to his mother.

His mother stated: 

“I am so sorry for my son’s behavior. I have told him to not play cops and robbers in the open and to never take his toy guns out of the house. I intend to whoop his ass once I get him home.”

After bragging about his support for separating children from their mothers in a press release, Texas Congressman Brian Babin was run over by a bus driven by Donald Trump. Trump was racing to sign an executive order to stop the policy he created and Babin had joyfully supported. Trump stated:

“This was not something I created. It was the Democrats policy and only an idiot would voice his support for it.”

Babin will be meeting the press as soon as he can take the egg off his face. His press release has received about 20 comments, all negative concerning his support of the policy that trump created. The comment period is still open.