We do things bigger in Texas, like having bigger idiots in office.

Texas State Representative Brian Slaton pictured here with his first (or second?) wife, after walking on water, has filed a bill to start Texas secession from the United States. If this bill would pass (it won’t) the bill would allow a public vote on secession in November. It’s nothing more than a right wing idiot dog whistle perking up the ears of the ignorant and stupid people in Texas who think Texas could actually leave.

For the sake of the ignorant and stupid people who think this is actually a possibility let’s review what would happen if Texas was allowed to leave. First all military bases would be closed. All military equipment would be shifted to other US bases. Military personnel would have to either move to the United States or quit. The federal teat would dry up with Military towns being abandoned. Businesses that support the military bases would have to close shop. The tax base for cities would be devastated.

All federal offices such as Social Security, Medicare, Veterans Affairs, etc would be closed. Social Security payments would end leaving millions of stupid old people fighting over cat food. Medicare would end with medical facilities and healthcare providers losing billions in profits and old people dying from contaminated cat food. Federal transportation funds for roads, rail, and airports would dry up. NASA’s facilities in Houston would be closed and moved to Alabama or Florida. NASA employees would either move or quit. The community would lose billions in revenue. (See how stupid this sounds?)

Best of all, with Texas having no military, Mexico would cross the river and take back Texas. Much like the Alamo Texans would be defenseless except for a few bubbas with their AR-15s as Mexico walks into Texas reclaiming the land that was stolen from them back in the 1800’s. Lucky for Texans there will be too many bodies to pile up and burn as they did after the fall of the Alamo.

As I said, we do things bigger in Texas. If you think Texas can leave the United States you are a Texas sized idiot.

It’s was just a plain old fashion ass kicking.

Remember the Alamo was a pretty simple minded and effective battle cry even though most never could or can remember what the battle was all about. Today most don’t even know the date when the Alamo fell. (Hint: It was on March 6 1836.) Today most don’t want to remember what the battle of the Alamo was all about, and for good reason.

Texas, at the time, was part of Mexico. It was their land. Mexico reached out and invited settlers to come to Mexico (Texas). All they asked was for them to learn the language and become Catholics. During that time Mexico helped the settlers by providing weapons to fend off attacks by the Native Americans. Instead of being thankful for the land, hospitality, and lifestyle provided by Mexico, about 200 white guys, led by leaders wearing raccoon hats to drive fear into their rivals, decided to steal the land from Mexico starting with a stand at the Alamo. BIG MISTAKE!

The battle of the Alamo was probably the biggest military blunder next to the Iraq war in American history. They raccoon army had limited supplies. They had no reinforcements from the United States. They had no support and was abandoned, left to die all for a simple minded and effective battle cry. And they did. All of them. And their bodies were piled up and burned. (except for Gregorio Esparza who was provided a Christian burial)

The 200 poorly equipped, poorly dressed, land stealers picked an unfortunate fight with thousands of well armed, well fed, Mexican soldiers who spent a few nights camped outside blaring music from Mexico’s boy band, Menudo. The Alamo fell on March 6. The land stealers were considered heroes even though they were military idiots who basically lost their lives for pretty much nothing but a battle cry. What did anyone expect? What would you do if you had invited someone into your home, gave them food, water, and a place to raise a family and then they decided to steal your house and land? Todays Texans would grab their AR-15, put their teeth in, and kick the living shit out of the squatters and then expect to be interviewed on FoxNews. That is what Mexico did. They kicked the shit out of the ungrateful, land stealing, hillbillies, stacked their bodies in pile and burnt them. (FoxNews didn’t cover that)

So. Let’s really remember the Alamo. They deserve it.

Bay Area Houston covers portions of Galveston, Brazoria and Harris County. On the State level BAH is in Senate District 11 and is in House District 129 in Harris County and House District 23 in Galveston County. On the Congressional level the area is in Congressional District 36 and District 14. Here is the contact information for each:

Mayes Middleton, Senator District 11
Senate webpage: https://senate.texas.gov/member.php?d=11
Austin Phone: (512) 463-0111
Email: See website above
Galveston Office phone: None listed (Will update once I find it)
Brazoria District Office phone: None listed (Will update once I find it)
Harris District Office: There is no office

Dennis Paul House District 129
House webpage: https://house.texas.gov/members/member-page/?district=129
Austin Phone: (512) 463-0734
Email: Dennis.paul@house.texas.gov
District Office: 17225 El Camino Real Blvd Suite 415

District Phone: (281) 488-8900

Leo-Wilson, Terri House District 23
House webpage: https://house.texas.gov/members/member-page/?district=23
Austin Phone: (512) 463-0502
Email: None listed
District Office: None listed

Congressman Brian Babin District 36
House Webpage: https://babin.house.gov
Washington DC phone: (202) 225-1555
Email: https://babin.house.gov/contact/
District Office: https://babin.house.gov/contact/officeinformation.htm

Congressman Randy Weber District 14
House Page: https://weber.house.gov
Washington DC Phone: 202-225-2831
Email: https://weber.house.gov/contact/
District Office: https://weber.house.gov/contact/officeinformation.htm